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The Fourth Wall

by ANNA SAGE

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1.
Silence, emptiness, make it useless. The shadows quake is the sound I need. Noise from nothing, nothingness, deliverance. In the absence of distortion, desertland of peaceful mind. Surrounded by unconfessing truth of my loneliness. I create, to be safe, a continuous riot in my head. Call it weakness, call it pain addict, ‘til you keep my brain awake. Destroy and smash the world, and feel the waves within. And feel the waves within. Feel the constant move, the unstoppable disorder. No quiet, just storm, I am breathless. Mute the ghost, take off the host, make me deaf to death. Peace will come when tone is gone, erasing synapses. Silence. Noises, shut up and bring me, silence.
2.
She's dead, she's there. She disappears and lives inside me. This presence doesn't exist. Like a ghost I can touch with my finger. This reflect which isn't mine. A shadow that doesn't belong to me. So familiar, so hostile. The guardian angel of my dire day. Am I the prey or the hunter? She is my creation. The fruit of my imagination. My only source of pain. My sole deliverance. She is the problem and the solution. I gave her life and she'll give me death. Born from fear and living in hate. I built the cradle which will be my coffin. She digs my grave. Saying with a smile on her lips. You are the prey. Master and slave in a borderless world. The shadows that resist the rays of light. She fed on the tears of my innocence. She listened when I doubted my beliefs. I let that flame burn. Now she consumes every fragment of my soul. I tracked my hangman all my life. Hunter or prey, which one am I? She cries. Her ending. Shouting. Damn fool, you are both. Am I the prey, am I the hunter? Am I the master, am I the slave? Am I the hangman, am I condemned? What if was both? You are both, she shouts, you are both.
3.
Kneeling down before you. Hands joined on the wood. These formalities like banalities now seem so futile to me. For so long I've been praying but I'm waiting for answers. For so long I've been crying I'm weary not to hear anything in return. My prayers, are insignificant vain words. Empty of sense. In the sacred text forgiveness is only given to the one you choose. What justice is there in chance? Where does your greatness reside? What are we supposed to do to get you to hold out your arms? My faith leaves me smiles fade away to the rythm of your ordeals. My prayers, are insignificant vain words. Empty of sense. Why am I kneeling down ? Why am I kneeling down before you? A blinding light surrounds me within my soul the void reigns. Am I supposed to give you my last prayer? Why am I kneeling down before you? In your name I implore you. In the name of your son I call the holy ghost in a last prayer. God can you tell me why am I still kneeling down? God, please forgive, I fucking hate you!
4.
The characters enter the clamor. Under the spotlights, no wrong move. Like a breath, the words come and fly away. But only fall back during the intermission. On the other side of the wall, looks, from darkness, the shadows gaze and deny. Passive actors, silent and heavy consciousness. They suffer but never influence. Between them and myself. A fourth wall, opposing us. We could believe just this once. In its fall. But the comedian sweeps any hope away. With a hand gesture, he mimes, the untouchable. Behind this invisible border, he hears what’s inaudible. When finally the last outcome arrives. An ominous ending, yet so predictable. The comedian's fall, applauded by the crowd. They applaud, they fools, they proclaim for our ending. When the lights go out, when the final curtains come down. They will discover that between them and I there was nothing.
5.
Kneeling down, the eye facing the ground. My head spinning round and round. I look into myself, but nothingness is reigning. Getting lost, inside my only mind, something is screaming. Deeper inside my head. And this melody, grows up inside me. Like a sceam of hope, that we hear quietly. So my eye itself turned slowly toward the sky. Listen to the saddest song of lies. Far away I hear the latest war cry. And yet I'm getting to keep smile. Even Through I'm feeling so empty. God, why don't you care about me? I will never get the forgiveness. I won't be blessed for I throw it away. 'Cause inside myself I'm keeping a sorrow. 'Cause inside myself I'm keeping a sword. 'Cause inside myself I'm keeping a pain. 'Cause inside myself I'm keeping a lie. God, forgive me, now I'm facing the sky.
6.
When happiness is always guiding the child. When he has no fear, no suffering to hide. Loved forever, couldn't be better. While his past always brings back the pain. When hate burns from the inside. Love doesn't mean anything, and yet he smiles. When happiness is always guiding the child. When he has no fear, no suffering to hide. Being loved forever, couldn't even be better. This is the perfect childhood, my perfect childhood. While his past always brings back the pain. When hate burns from the inside. Love doesn't mean anything, and yet he smiles. Love won't be anything, and yet he smiles. Why do I deserve to creep? I can't get to sleep. And I use my fear to get strong. Because I am not... Do you feel strong, taking away my carelessness? My smile fading to the rythm of your beatings. 'til the other kids played and sang. I already feel the darkness of violence. I no longer feel pain, I no longer feel any anger. Only the misunderstanding of your actions. I grew up with these wounds, with your bites. And this feeling that your beatings still hurt me today. I was too young, still way to young. What wrong could I have done to deserve so much hate? The memories of your sharp fangs in my flesh haunt me. In an eternal nightmare. I'd like to wake up one day, i'd like to wake up from this endless dream. To get up one morning telling myself none of this ever existed. (I was) But reality will catch up with me for all my life wherever I go (Only) In a perfect nightmare, in a fucking perfect nightmare.
(A child) The memories of sharp fangs in my flesh haunt me, still and ever! And I still am! This is my perfect nightmare! Beat me again, until death. I will never lose face. Hurt me again, I promise I will stand. I was a child, and I still am.

credits

released February 10, 2014

All tracks and lyrics written and performed by Anna Sage.
Recorded and edited by Alexandre Dos Reis with Paul Rannaud, mixed by Sylvain Biguet and mastered by Brad Boatright at Audiosiege.

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ANNA SAGE France

We create Alternative Hardcore since 2012.
New Album 'Anna Sage' OUT NOW through Klonosphere, Season Of Mist, Dingleberry Records, Itawak Records, Urgence Disk Records, Vox Project and Zegema Beach Records.

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